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The very first moment you got a taste of independence - when word had spread in your school that somebody’s mum and dad were going away for the weekend, and that the person was having a party. Now the person never knew they were having a party - perhaps having is the wrong choice of word - they were getting a party. When I was growing up, it was called an empty - it derives from the fact that the person would have the house to themselves, an empty house - thus, an “empty”.
Now you musn’t confuse the empty with the high school parties you see in American movies, yeah? “Hey man, you guys - you guys know a kid called Chad Hogan?” “Yeah, man! Everyone knows Chad Hogan, dude! He’s like, the coolest kid in high school?” “Well Chad Hogan’s mom and dad are going away to Long Island for the weekend, man.” “There’s a party at Chad Hogan’s place?” “Yeah! Spring Break, yeahhh!”
Then it shows you Chad Hogan’s party - they guy’s booked a band for his living room! Everybody’s nodding and drinking from these plastic cups - “Great party Chad, yeah! Woohoo!” A bedroom door opens and some guy emerges - “Guess who got to first base last night?! Yeah!” The guy’s 35 years old. Those weren’t the kind of parties we had. We didn’t have Spring Break - we had the Easter Holidays. 
A lot more tension in an empty - somebody’s psycho cousin would disrupt the ambience by announcing he’d purchased twelve cans - drank two, spilt one, but only had seven left. “Turn that music off - we’ve got a can thief - fucking turn that down!” Somebody else in a corner smoking a joint and blowing it into your labrador’s face - an intelligent dog, as well, and it’s sitting there frazzled. Another guy’s just trying on people’s jackets - “Does this one suit me?” Not even “does it fit me”? The guy’s a petty thief but he’s also a fashionista. The same guy at the end of the night’s walking out holding a microwave - “I think you’ll find I brought this with me…. and I don’t care for the accusation. I mean, why would I steal a microwave?” (x)

The very first moment you got a taste of independence - when word had spread in your school that somebody’s mum and dad were going away for the weekend, and that the person was having a party. Now the person never knew they were having a party - perhaps having is the wrong choice of word - they were getting a party. When I was growing up, it was called an empty - it derives from the fact that the person would have the house to themselves, an empty house - thus, an “empty”.

Now you musn’t confuse the empty with the high school parties you see in American movies, yeah? “Hey man, you guys - you guys know a kid called Chad Hogan?” “Yeah, man! Everyone knows Chad Hogan, dude! He’s like, the coolest kid in high school?” “Well Chad Hogan’s mom and dad are going away to Long Island for the weekend, man.” “There’s a party at Chad Hogan’s place?” “Yeah! Spring Break, yeahhh!”

Then it shows you Chad Hogan’s party - they guy’s booked a band for his living room! Everybody’s nodding and drinking from these plastic cups - “Great party Chad, yeah! Woohoo!” A bedroom door opens and some guy emerges - “Guess who got to first base last night?! Yeah!” The guy’s 35 years old. Those weren’t the kind of parties we had. We didn’t have Spring Break - we had the Easter Holidays.

A lot more tension in an empty - somebody’s psycho cousin would disrupt the ambience by announcing he’d purchased twelve cans - drank two, spilt one, but only had seven left. “Turn that music off - we’ve got a can thief - fucking turn that down!” Somebody else in a corner smoking a joint and blowing it into your labrador’s face - an intelligent dog, as well, and it’s sitting there frazzled. Another guy’s just trying on people’s jackets - “Does this one suit me?” Not even “does it fit me”? The guy’s a petty thief but he’s also a fashionista. The same guy at the end of the night’s walking out holding a microwave - “I think you’ll find I brought this with me…. and I don’t care for the accusation. I mean, why would I steal a microwave?” (x)

(Source: apriki, via toliveandtosing)

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kerrigankerrigan:

dudewheresmycat:

I don’t like this. I don’t like this. OH GOD I REALLY DON’T LIKE THIS.

'Oh look… that's not so creepy…OH NO I DON'T LIKE IT NO.'

kerrigankerrigan:

dudewheresmycat:

I don’t like this. I don’t like this. 
OH GOD I REALLY DON’T LIKE THIS.

'Oh look… that's not so creepy…OH NO I DON'T LIKE IT NO.'

(Source: psicreepy)

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jhart87:

I have been laughing about this for days now.

jhart87:

I have been laughing about this for days now.

(via kerrigankerrigan)

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blushpanic:

genji-senpai:

pezberry93:

Alternative phrases to “calm your tits”

hakuna your tatas omg

DonT HAVE A RACK ATTACK OMFG

blushpanic:

genji-senpai:

pezberry93:

Alternative phrases to “calm your tits”

hakuna your tatas omg

DonT HAVE A RACK ATTACK OMFG

(via evilqueenlife)

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"Cinderella never asked for a prince. She asked for a night off and a dress."

— Kiera Cass (via maxonshreaves)

(via bunnyawkwards)

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strangelybeautifulworld:

nympherret:

like how much more obvious does this need to be made for people to get it?

this isnt even an exaggeration 
like at all

strangelybeautifulworld:

nympherret:

like how much more obvious does this need to be made for people to get it?

this isnt even an exaggeration 

like at all

(Source: america-wakiewakie, via fuckyeahsnackables)